A Question About Orgasms and Sex

Many people have a narrow definition of sex, when in reality sex isn’t really about just our genitals.
Recently I had an online conversation with a guy about orgasms and their importance in relationships.  To be exact, to whether orgasms that involve squirting are better than non-squirting orgasms.
I told him that sex and intimacy is not just about the orgasm, it’s about the whole experience.  Whether I squirt or not (or cum or not) doesn’t make a difference if I enjoy it. He was actually surprised that an orgasm was not the most important part of my sexual experience.
He then mentioned that maybe it was because I was into Tantra.  I laughed and told him it really depends on the connection with my partner,  I’ve had sex with no orgasm that was amazing because of who it was with and what we did.  And I’ve had orgasmic sex that wasn’t overall that satisfying.  Of course my kind of sex isn’t always what people would imagine sex is. 
 
After thinking about the conversation I realized that because of my relationship to orgasms that my sexual encounters never require one.   You see, for me orgasms are seldom connected to my erotic core and are usually pretty much just physical.  If they happen, wonderful and they are not the reason I have sex (or what appears as sex) with other people.
 
So my questions to you.  What is your definition of sex?  How important is orgasm to you when it comes to sexual encounters?  Can you  truly have a satisfying experience without an orgasm?

4 Replies to “A Question About Orgasms and Sex”

  1. oh wow.. awesome question Mama!!
    Boy do I have some input.
    First thing, I have found I don’t need any physical contact what so ever to have some of my best orgasms.
    All I have to do is visualize about being penetrated or even connected with by the one I desire and I cum and get hot and goosebumps and all the wet lovely gooshie stuff.
    Second thing is, yea, orgasms are no where near as important to me as the connection or the feeling that who i am with has a genuine concern and respect for me as a woman and is not just using me to get his stupid itch scratched.
    I swear I wont give it away to one more brainwashed porno head for free..
    pfft… Live n learn eh…
    All in all I agree with you.. it so totally is not all about the orgasm.

  2. I orgasm very very easily from all sorts of stimulation but there’s a difference between the reaction of my body and an orgasm in my brain.

    I recently had an encounter where my body responded multiple times but it was like I was required to act out bad porn for the individual involved. Not fun for me at all. On later feedback communication, he was flabbergasted that I did not enjoy myself. Well if I’m just giving not receiving it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out as far as I’m concerned.

    There are definitely times where just giving or recieving or sensual touch is satisfying but the structure of that encounter was not aimed at that. It was therefore not an exchange of giving in spite of being *pre-negotiated* as that.

    My point being, on the other side of the coin, orgasms do not necessarily indicate enjoyment and communication before, during and after is key.

  3. “What is your definition of sex?”
    As you well know this is not an easy question. The best answer I’ve heard is; ‘If anybody involved has an orgasm or is trying to have an orgasm then it’s sex.’

    “How important is orgasm to you when it comes to sexual encounters?”
    As a guy, for me it’s usually the point. I sometimes feel that it’s expected and I’ll disappoint others if I don’t. I have experienced a very few times when sex has been great without. That kind of experience is rare for me.

    “Can you truly have a satisfying experience without an orgasm?”
    Yes. My few non-orgasmic experiences are adequate demonstration of that for me.

    A.M.

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